It’s 3am

And I’m scrambling out of my tent across the muddy grass in my underwear, dragging my jacket, pants and boots inside my tent away from the pelting rain. In my haste I leave my poor helmet like a bug on its back, defenceless against the rain.

Fastforward. It’s 9am, I slide my helmet on my head, water dripping down my neck, the foam slurping against my skin. This is how my day begins.

My route

▣  Highly recommend       Boring but safe      Shit. Boring, strenuous & dangerous       Incomplete

4
Hrs estimated duration
6
Hrs actual riding
176
Kilometers

What I thought’d happen
Nice long ride around the fjords

What actually happened
Pretty sweet ride but exhausted after the rain began

Routine

Get up. Wash face. Eat cereal. Pack gear. An hour into the routine a nice German guy comes over to chat. Motorcycles are like dogs, great for meeting cute boys.

Hardangerfjord

Today I’m leaving Odda for Bergen. There are two routes I can take. The first is to ride really fast through a really long, dark, damp tunnel. The second is to ride along the beautiful coast of Hardangerfjord and take a short ferry ride. I know which I prefer. How about let’s not get blasted in the face with water of glacial temperatures in complete blackness with the knowledge that any moment you’re going to crash and die.

Odda to Utne

The road from Odda to Utne was nice. I mean, I say that in comparison to what I had just seen. If I had seen this a couple of months ago in Australia, my eyeballs would have shrunk into my skull in stupor. It makes me sad I’m starting to take things for granted.

The road continues around the fjord, dipping up and down and around. It was pretty shitty weather today, drizzling rain for the better part of the day. But still, even through the fine mist of rain, it was beautiful. The water was calm, lapping gently at the edges. Tiny meter long beaches of black sand dot the area and DIY pallet docks bobble softly on the edges. The water is a frosted glass turquoise, the sky misted grey.

After Utne the scenery changes. You’ll now be driving around a different fjord and with it a different feeling. It’s strange that such a change can occur so quickly. The road is now twistier than ever, with steep inclines and declines. The tiny road passes through small sleepy towns, every patch of free space adorned with cherry trees and apple orchards. For the next little while all you’ll see are cherry trees, with little signs saying ‘Morello’ (cherries) and little slanty setups selling said cherries. All the while looking down upon the beautiful fjord in the background. It is a very peaceful, serene place.

Continuing around to Jondal, you’ll start to move through more forested areas. The road is still single lane for the most part but the twists are fewer, although steeper. There isn’t too much to see here, but the smell of waterfalls mixed with forest peat is magical. It’s mesmerising to ride through these parts, even if the scenery is just plain old forest.

The ferry from Jondal to Tørvikbygd

The ferry arrives every hour or so to Jondal and I had missed the previous one by 5 minutes. So I parked my bike in the queue and went to source some food. Unfortunately (or fortunately) there isn’t much convenience food in Norway and I’ve no room for more food on my bike. So I opted for a preservative laden egg and bacon roll…in fact I’m not exactly sure why I’m telling you this. Maybe admitting that I’m a disgusting pig is therapy. Yeh! I do feel better.

Tørvikbygd to Bergen

The road from Tørvikbygd to Bergen is OK, I feel it would have been much nicer when it’s not raining. Said everybody, always. For the most part I was shitting myself because I had cars up my butt the whole time. I’m faster than them, except on the steep slippery hair pin turns, and they always seem to creep back up on me. Then they get all mad and try and hurry past. It’s extremely tiring having to look behind you the whole time to see if somebody’s going to kill you.

Bergen

I finally arrive in Bergen, and cold, wet and exhausted, I look on my phone for a place to stay. I’m THAT tired and miserable I almost pay $50 for a HOSTEL, but then I can’t be bothered dealing with with my bike. Better to just camp it out so at least I have it next to me.

At this point it really feels like I’m breaking. I’m physically drained and ravenously hungry but I have no option but to persevere. I need to find shelter.

The situation is sobering you know. Swap shelter for shoes and Id’ve been in the same situation a few months back. No wonder everybody’s stressed out. They’re worried about the wrong things.

Lone camping AS

I passed two shitty campsites before coming to Lone camping AS. It is a fairly camp ground and has some pretty nice facilities but I paid a whopping 155 KR to stay. Unfortunately that doesn’t pay for showers, or to use the kitchen. So wait, remind me what I’m paying for again? Maybe it’s the tiny patch of mud that I had to pitch my tent on.

Actually I wasn’t even supposed to camp on that patch of mud. Somebody was using it to park their car, but they had driven off somewhere for a bit. In my defence it was the only place I could park my bike where it wouldn’t sink through the soft mud. Even with a small flat rock under my side stand it still sunk considerably in this spot.

So anyway, I’m currently sitting in my tent typing this and listening to the car pull up and get all mad at me for being in their spot. I’m not going out there to face them. But my payback is the fact that they have a very loud baby. And it is crying.

Karma is a bitch.

What I learned today:

  1. Don’t leave gear outside of your tent
  2. We all take shelter for granted

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